Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Why am i so lazy again?

Hux, I dont know what is wrong with me?
But I hate myself atm.
I am not me at all.

I used to be someone who complaint about school the least in our bunch. Whenever I got unit test and my friends asked me to go somewhere, instead of telling them that I cant go, I decided to just go. At the end of the day, I will study really hard, until the sun is out again and did my unit test just fine. I am not saying that I am a genius or whatever, but I am good enough on what Im doing that I never need to worry about anything.

Now, Im doing my honour project (*biggest regret in my life atm I guess) that requires me to do whole lot of work. I passed the semester where I have to read read read read and read.. I finished almost hundred of journals, not to mention those book chapters and some slides that my supervisor gave me. I did my literature review and presentation of it very close to perfect (or at least I did my best to go for it).

At present time, I am at the state where I have to actually start to get wet on the project and do the experiment instead of just research and research. This supposed to be the most exciting part and the part to have some fun. But no no no no, I did nothing. My 9weeks has passed and I did big big big ZERO for it.
The data is not even finished to be collected. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My supervisor said that this is the hardest part, which is data exploration and experiment design. But I dont think its the project. I personally think it something inside me that make me can not do it. My laziness...
and yes, the fact that she asked me to program for my data visualization is just making me more nervous. I can program, but I am not an expert.

Im drowning

*taken from here


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